Thirteen years ago this September, Darren and I packed our apartment into an eight foot by eight foot storage cube, and I took off for three and a half months in southeast Asia with no more than I could carry. My backpack and the daybag that I picked up at a market in Vietnam have seen a dozen countries, but they’ve been stored away like Ragedy Ann and Andy for six years since I was last in China. There was something soothing about shaking out the residual sand from Xinjiang and wiping white streaks of my sweat from the black nylon. Yes, I had apparently put it all away “as is”.
A lot happened since I left Shanghai. The next year of travel took me around the US to interview for the job that I eventually started. We bought a house in San Diego in 2013 and had our daughter in 2016. This year I turned 40. India is my first return to the kind of vibrant and often challenging travel that once soothed my wanderlust, and I have an odd zen-like feeling of dread. It’s far from home and far from my small person. My 40-year-old body has more recently and frequently hauled a 30-pound toddler on my hip and not a 30-pound pack on my back. And I’m not sure this 40-year-old body will drop into a squat as easily as its 30-year-old version once did.
But I’m excited for the sensory overload of smells and sounds and color and for the feeling of being a part of a whole new and vibrant organism. I’m excited to be in the moment and not in my office. I’m excited to be writing something that’s not a plea for money. I started this blog thirteen years ago to keep my friends and family updated on my travels and to keep a record for my future self. I’m so grateful that I did, because it’s fun to read what I once wrote. I also now realize what I couldn’t have known then – this blog keeps the record of a life that I lived before my small person. Maybe someday if she reads this, she’ll get to know me a little better. Honey, if you are reading this – please go off and have as much fun as I did. Just don’t tell me about it until afterward…but hopefully I’ll be right there doing a lot of it with you.
A lot happened since I left Shanghai. The next year of travel took me around the US to interview for the job that I eventually started. We bought a house in San Diego in 2013 and had our daughter in 2016. This year I turned 40. India is my first return to the kind of vibrant and often challenging travel that once soothed my wanderlust, and I have an odd zen-like feeling of dread. It’s far from home and far from my small person. My 40-year-old body has more recently and frequently hauled a 30-pound toddler on my hip and not a 30-pound pack on my back. And I’m not sure this 40-year-old body will drop into a squat as easily as its 30-year-old version once did.
But I’m excited for the sensory overload of smells and sounds and color and for the feeling of being a part of a whole new and vibrant organism. I’m excited to be in the moment and not in my office. I’m excited to be writing something that’s not a plea for money. I started this blog thirteen years ago to keep my friends and family updated on my travels and to keep a record for my future self. I’m so grateful that I did, because it’s fun to read what I once wrote. I also now realize what I couldn’t have known then – this blog keeps the record of a life that I lived before my small person. Maybe someday if she reads this, she’ll get to know me a little better. Honey, if you are reading this – please go off and have as much fun as I did. Just don’t tell me about it until afterward…but hopefully I’ll be right there doing a lot of it with you.
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing. I want to go on a trip with you some day but I also want you to write my blog! Your small person has such a cool mom and I think that 5'8" Grace is really going to enjoy reading your adventures :).
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